inferiority monster

i never wanted to be me
fuckin damn shit ugly loser
ugly ugly ugly ugly u g l y
im a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

sadistically disturbing again

gift from my sadistic star = pain

the one cant be loved by da one who the one love all the time
the one cant love da one who loves the one all the time

again and again and again and again

no one cant decide the one who fall in love with

crashed like a bug in the ground (let down)

am tired

とにかく悲痛だってこと。

dizzy / coma

recognizing the moment
of the slide into
the moment entering

a s t r a l p r o j e c t i o n ?

sound... far away
what this some like filters between ear and sound?

don't understand what i am seeing
but i recognize clearly
substances, space, and colors are incidenting into my sight

walking? moving?
such senses... whats that?
disappeared

like walking moving flying in dreams
recognizing it but not feeling it

then. different strange part of the sense becomes very sharp
sharpness only at the moment
i rather love that

space i can meet only in a coma
sound i can hear only in a coma
sharpness i can get only in a coma

experience of an anaemic person

昏睡状態のシャープな視覚がわりと好きなんだ。

fantasy

fantasy... is

not real and probably will never be ???

no
rather truth
the beautiful one

do you understand?

moratorium

moratorium

a childish young person who does not want to grow up

k+

general
fantasy fantasia
water wind light snow air sky swimming in a swimming pool musicing dancing collapsing stoned everything having beautiful spirit everything having Rock spirit

music
anthems for a seventeen-year old girl BJORK blanky jet city Blur built to spill bump of chicken David Bowie EMILY HAINES explosions in the sky her space holiday JENIFEREVER John Squire kart cobain KYTE Mick Jagger Mogwai MUM nicholas prefers dinosaurs Nirvana quruli R A D I O H E A D ringo shiina the Rolling Stones SIGUR ROS sleepy.ab spilitualized The STONE ROSES the velvet underground

film
the City of Lost Children Elephant Last Days My Life As A Dog MIYAZAKI films NARNIA Neverending Story Noi Albinoi Performance SOMERSAULT The Spiderwick Chronicles STEALING BEAUTY sympathy for the devil a.k.a one plus one Wallace and Gromit

books
NOVELS by MICHAEL ENDE
GRAPEFRUIT by YOKO ONO
GRAPHIC NOVELS by TAIYO MATSUMOTO
ONE PIECE


tv
CSI Miami Life on Mars Little Britain

daymooning about
kite eating tree racing snail moon child moomin valley Go Go Monster sleeping for thousand years hit with gretch floating in space floating in sound swimming in a swimming pool

scared about
the nothing monster attacks me
feeling lonely being understood by nobody

T H E

Bjork　ビョーク
the person who is that special

Kurt Cobain　カート・コバーン
the person who is that sweet

Mick Jagger　ミック・ジャガー
the person who is that gorgeous

John Squire　ジョン・スクワイア
the person who is that guitarist

Thom e Yorke　トム e ヨーク
the person who is that existance

marie antoinette

i think i really love this film.

director: sofia coppola 2006
cast: kirsten dunst, marianne faithfull

unbeliavable truth

day dont believe night
night dont believe day