Saturday, 27 October 2007

despair and touching moments hit me at once


Monday, 15 October 2007


i was very very very happy IKEA is in japan with me.
this feeling is much more comfortable and happier than
the feeling when i meet japanese food in foreign country.
im happy to meet IKEA stuff here in japan....
to feel more home in japan!
anyway. that was strange to be in IKEA shop
only with japanese people around..... yes i know i'm also japanese though....


Sunday, 7 October 2007

losing the plot and hiding in toilets.

nothing monster hit me or rather
that is negative monster this time.
this negative monster is very scareing me.
this negative ness is very similar with gravitation. collapse.

i have to say.
i am increadiblly weakened.
im not saying i am weak. maybe....not. or i don't know.
but at least now i am really weakened.
and fuckin negative. this is really shit.

but i don't want to be real shit.
so i will try to go flying with shining power later.
yes later. but maybe not now.
and i don't know when. but later definitly.
i haven't given up. i'm still hanging..... later later.....
am i ? yes???

im not confused.
rather very calm.
but this calm ness is more than boring.
this is despair. d e s p a i r.


dead silency anger

h e l p m e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e s a v e m e e e e e e e
i d o n t k n o w w h a t i c a n d o b u t s h o u t i n g h e l p m e . . .
i d o n t k n o w w h a t i w a n t t o b e h e l p e d o r h o w o r b y w h o . . .
i j u s t w a n t t o b e s a v e d m e f r o m h e r e . . .
i c a n t a c c e p t m y s e l f n o w . . .