music videos on screen

Hedgehog in the Fog (1975) / Yuriy Norshteyn
human behavior (1993) /bjork/ Michel Gondry

both were my very favorites i watched them on dvd lots
but situation was so different this time
to watch those short films or mv on SCREEN was fantastic

flow of light to screen from projector / space
sound of film x sound of ambient air / space
existance of others / space

i was also interested in agnes varda's film in film and groovision's mv.

for barry ray

for barry ray live performance in tokyo
at ecoda cafe flying teapot

i love their touch to each instruments
feeling like quiet breathing
i was happy to be there with them performance

it was funny i was looking they were there among all japanese people
and it was strange i felt more home in my home country japan
because of their existance...

a flower

my beautiful friend gave a flower to me
i was very very happily impressed...

i was late to come because i got on wrong train first
finally when i reached at ecoda station
she was standing there with a flower
with her smile she gave me a flower
i loved the flower of course but also i loved her smile then
i was just surprised at and overly happy

up and down (down version)

im not maybe tired.
but absolutely confused.

not always
but indeed very often.

i dont like it... i know!

-
up and down
up and down
slow fast
slow fast...
(night crusing)
-

heres too far
too far
and
too separated
from there and everything...

i want to be 100% purely happy
i want to experience to be 100% purely happy ... once more...

ah. i mean. maybe.

i want to get my mind status
as that i can feel more happy towards the happies
and as that i can keep those happies longer in my mind
to keep me happy

because sometimes i am actually happy!!
( like after going to hair dresser )

but. soon. thats gonna be corapsed.
because
the empty monster / nothing monster hit me to get me confused.

but i dont know...
are those monsters my enemies?
or..... could be friends?

anyway. what am i talkin bout?!

inferiority monster

i never wanted to be me
fuckin damn shit ugly loser
ugly ugly ugly ugly u g l y
im a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

sadistically disturbing again

gift from my sadistic star = pain

the one cant be loved by da one who the one love all the time
the one cant love da one who loves the one all the time

again and again and again and again

no one cant decide the one who fall in love with

crashed like a bug in the ground (let down)

am tired

とにかく悲痛だってこと。

dizzy / coma

recognizing the moment
of the slide into
the moment entering

a s t r a l p r o j e c t i o n ?

sound... far away
what this some like filters between ear and sound?

don't understand what i am seeing
but i recognize clearly
substances, space, and colors are incidenting into my sight

walking? moving?
such senses... whats that?
disappeared

like walking moving flying in dreams
recognizing it but not feeling it

then. different strange part of the sense becomes very sharp
sharpness only at the moment
i rather love that

space i can meet only in a coma
sound i can hear only in a coma
sharpness i can get only in a coma

experience of an anaemic person

昏睡状態のシャープな視覚がわりと好きなんだ。

fantasy

fantasy... is

not real and probably will never be ???

no
rather truth
the beautiful one

do you understand?

moratorium

moratorium

a childish young person who does not want to grow up